When Starbucks adds pumpkin syrup to their lattes and Safeway sells inedible gourds, you know… autumn is nigh.

At least, those are the only signs of fall here in San Francisco. This marks my first year living in a city without a noticeable fall, my favorite season of all. Whenever I start to wax nostalgic for my pumpkin picking, leaf-raking days of yore, I go out and buy something (anything) autumnal. Turns out, most pumpkin spice treats don’t actually taste like pumpkin. And if I buy another decorative gourd, I’m going to turn into the dude in this McSweeney’s piece.

So, to preserve myself from my expensive gourd habit or another sickeningly sweet pumpkin spice something, I present you with four gourd puns that get me in the fall spirit.

1. May the gourds be with you.
What do I love as much as gourds? Yoda … and Yaddle, of course (look her up).

2. Don’t let your gourd down.
Because there’s nothing worse than a disappointed squash.

3. In gourd we trust.
This one’s only funny if you say “god” with a Jersey accent. Oh. My. Gourd.

4. Ithaca is gourd-geous.
Bam! Double pun for those of you who know what an “Ithaca is gorges” t-shirt is…

Puns about gourds aren’t your thing? Well, what can I say? Don’t hate me because I’m gourd-geous. Happy autumn!